28. On the cliff
I forgot how horribly uncomfortable a formal dress can be. So many layers, boney bits to keep shape, all poking and sticking in if you lay down, because it is made to look perfect while you are standing up. Angelica blinked, eyes tracing the weft of the fabric on the roof above. It was beautifully made, it was not a plain weave, rather it skipped over two warps then under, the rich fabric packed tight with lines of colour woven though. She went back to studying the sumptuous fabric of the black dress she wore, which had intricate dark grey flowers stitched in with silver highlights. It must have taken months, maybe even years, to make. Utterly exquisite … but not made for me, and tight in all the wrong places to be comfortable. Nope, not even counting threads is going to help me sleep. The only question now is how long to keep trying.
“M’Lady” Antaryon whispered “are you awake?”
Thank the Makers! Angelica smiled at the thought that this limbo would shortly end.
A gentle sigh, then Liva conceded “Yes. You can’t sleep either?”
“Nope, M’Lady. Too much happening in my head."
"Oh?" Liva said, her question inviting him to continue.
“M’Lady” Antraryon sat up gingerly, left arm carefully supported by his right. The pain that crept to his face he banished with a flicker of annoyance, chased with a sip of water. “I can’t sleep well, feels like in forever. I can’t stop thinking why am I here, why should I have been spared and not another? Why do I live, when Alex does not? When my sister, family, and most of my friends never made it out? Why me?”
Liva stood, walked over to where Antaryon was sitting, lent down, and without a word hugged him close. Her tears spoke for her, to the gaping chasm in each of their lives that could never be repaired; that would never make sense.
Angelica waited, giving them time until they parted. She wiped the tears from her own face, and quietly said “M’Lady?”
At Liva’s nod she continued. “I have long failed to understand why my brother is gone yet I remain. Of late, why? Why, with all the resources of the Kingdom, could we muster so few ships? Why did the flames not burn out? Why could we do nothing to stop this in the first place? Endless questions marching through my head." She took a breath. "The loudest, why did the Qin forsake us? What great wrong did we commit to earn first their fury and now their silence?”
"Nothing" Liva replied in frustration. She looked at Antaryon then to Angelica. "Whatever our parents, or those before them, did or did not do, when I think about those on our ships our stories have barely begun. We have done nothing wrong. We have each barely begun to do anything at all. Nothing about any of this is fair." Liva perched on the edge of the couch, arranging the deep folds of her dress cautiously to keep its shape. She traced one finger carefully over an intricately worked golden flower, following the threads.
Angelica opened her mouth to say something, then caught herself and waited for her Lady to speak first or invite conversation, copying Antaryon in taking a sip of water instead. Liva shifted her eyes from the gold shimmering on red back to Antaryon.
“Life is not fair” Antaryon said in a soft, sombre tone. "It is a scramble up a crumbling cliff face; for a time safe on a ledge, at others slipping helplessly down. No matter how well you climb or how valiantly aided by others you are, in the end you fall into the unknown abyss of darkness.”
“Or” Liva retorted “at the end you leap off and spread your wings, flying up to the light.”
“My Lady, you are such an optimist” Antaryon replied with a smile "to the light then" he raised his glass to toast their fate.
Angelica raised her glass with him "into the light."
Liva took up her glass and after holding it up, drained it. Then with a wicked grin she hurled it against the flagstones by the back wall, the glittering shards promptly joined by the others' glasses.
"That is for your arm" Liva said softly. "How is it, by the way? Not hot, itchy, or festering?"
"Feels a’right so far M'Lady, it just throbs like anything."
"Come here" Liva beckoned, immediately obeyed. She had Antaryon lift his arm up so his left hand rested on his right shoulder. At her nod Angelica gleefully pulled down a pennant banner and helped Liva fashion it into a sling.
"Do you hear it?" Antaryon said barely above silence as Liva and Angelica fussed entirely longer over his arm than either needed.
"I hear it too" Angelica said as softly as she could "what do you make of it?"
"Heavy infantry." Antaryon replied. "Armourers adjusting plates, a lot of chainmail, and grinding stones. Also archers. Could hear them bending bowstrings on with the hum after they tested the fit." he paused, thinking carefully. "It was muffled somehow, it felt close but not."
"I heard horses, but not many." Angelica added "Something startled one of them and they were whickering at each other for a bit. Metal horseshoes on wood."
"Thoughts?" Liva said simply as more loudly she said "That won't do, look get it right Anne, do it over."
“Should we?” Antaryon said urgently, looking to the cloth walls, beyond which there was no doubt the sentries remained looking out and listening in.
“Why not” Liva replied with a zephyr breath “the storm gathers, our words will make little difference to what is to come.”
"Battle preparations, M'Lady" Antaryon replied calmly.
"Against?" Liva replied succinctly.
"The Crusaders?" Angelica ventured, then remembering herself appended "M'Lady."
"Ah, yes." Antaryon offered. "Makes sense. So either they are planning to sally out in force against the invaders, or they expect an attack imminently."
"A ball on the eve of battle, oh my word are they confident." Liva whistled low, casting off caution as she stepped back.
"My lady, if I may what keeps sleep from you?" Angelica asked with genuine interest.
Liva tilted her head slightly, weighing her response. "I am afraid of my dreams."
Angelica began to reach towards Liva to offer a hug, but shrank back at the flicker of warning Liva flashed with her eyes. "I fear we all share poor dreams of late M'Lady" she replied instead.
"Not like these I venture." Liva said calmly, her decision made. "Of late my nightmares have an unfortunate habit of coming true."
Angelica was entirely too slow to stifle a gasp, very real surprise washed over her face.
"The bridge, M'Lady?" Antaryon asked quietly.
Liva nodded, and gestured for him to go on.
"If I may beg your forgiveness" Antaryon continued "I did not understand. At the bridge, when you sung … it was as if you knew there was someone there, an’ what they would sing back.”
“Quite so” Liva said simply. “It was not the first time I had seen that bridge.”
Angelica simply stood still, face expressionless, poised. If you have no idea what in Karcion you just heard, or what you have to do about it, do nothing. Damn that shrew and her lessons on etiquette at Court, I need to think not remember wanting to sneak outside to play!
Antaryon continued gently "My Lady have you any visions of what is to come tonight?"
Liva's face had lost all colour, and she stood suddenly, turning as if to flee yet there was no escape. Antaryon stepped to her and pulled her close into a tight hug with his good arm, whispering "its ok, we will face it together."
A single tear slid down her cheek as Liva hugged Antaryon back fiercely. She forced the words out between short frightened breaths. "I could not see. I only felt it."
"Don't carry it alone" Antaryon whispered.
Liva pulled back and looked him in the eyes, her eloquence stolen as she forced out a single word.
"Terror."
Antaryon nodded slowly. "Then we shall meet it together, and if it is the end we shall fly to the light together as well."
Angelica let her breath escape slowly. Liva was looking at her now, a question unspoken in her eyes. Making no attempt to check her tears, Angelica replied "If we are to fly, it would be my honour if you flew with me. I do not wish to lose my way, My Lady."
Liva nodded slowly, a tiny smile upon her lips quickly banished. "Together it is."
“It’s not about words any more”. Liva stepped back and looked at them both. “The hardest thing to do is nothing. That goes for you, too Antaryon: no heroics tonight. No gestures, no meaningless sacrifices.”
“I’m ok with not being a meaningless sacrifice” Antaryon replied with a grin “M’Lady.” as he wiped his damp eyes.
“We have a plan, right?” Antaryon asked, his voice betraying his nervousness at the void looming before them.
“Of course” Liva replied decisively, looking at Angelica with one eyebrow slightly raised.
Angelica nodded back. Same plan. Dance the dance as I have never stepped before, and not screw up. They cannot know our game until we have already won in theirs.
"Now" Liva said calmly "fetch me a bowl of hot water, towels, combs and brushes. What the hell were they thinking with your hair? And mine must look atrocious after bouncing around in a carriage! Get to it!"
Antaryon smiled, looked to the fabric surrounding them, and called out sharply in his best soldier’s voice "You heard the Lady! Get it done!"
"Sir!" came gruffly from outside, followed by muttering about being a soldier not a damn servant runner that diminished into the babble of noises outside as one of the guards set to.
Antaryon tapped his foot on the flagstones, and Liva winked.
Of course. Angelica knew at once he was correct. The army they had heard was beneath them, in tunnels or caves. The guards came up when we first entered, we were probably not meant to ever see that. But Kab bought us here early, he wanted us to know. Games within games. We're playing for time and information on where to go next so we can survive ... but what is he playing for, and why is he helping us?
